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Sunday 16 June 2013

My first book review: Trailer Park Juggernauts

I've never written a book review before. I've written loads of other shit, and unbelievably some dickheads enjoyed some of it. So I'm back,  relaunching my shitty blog, with some different stuff. Relaunching? Flogging a dead horse more like. A horse that died in a fire. A fire made of AIDs.     

I'm trying to be all grown up now in an attempt to find someone who will sleep with me, and part of my newest facade is reading shit loads of books. I also bought an orchid which is a cunt to look after, but I'll probably come back to that flowery little bastard later.

The book I am going to review for you is called Trailer Park Juggernauts by JJ Anderson. Simply, it's pretty fucking good. A collection of 15 or so short stories about (mostly) thick as shit Americans who live in trailer parks. Fairly interesting so far, but I haven't even got to the goodies yet. These motherfuckers have super powers!

The clever thing about the writing for me is that the premise is quite frankly a bit silly,  but at no
point in the book did I really think that was evident. Props to the author for that. Basically I felt like he had some big old balls turning his idea into an actual literary creation,  cause if he got it even slightly wrong  the book would have been shit and I'd be sat in this train, with my can of red stripe calling him a dickhead. Obviously I'm not though, am I.

The book starts with the tale of a woman, who's name escapes me (across all the stories there are a shit load of characters to remember) who can control all of the germs around her, basically however she sees fit. Winning on a roulette wheel, saving a local prostitute, killing a pimp who only talks in rhymes (liked him, didn't want him to die) and eventually going on a moral slaughter rampage against the whole of the sex trade mercilessly slaying pimps and the like, all over the fucking place. Cool shit, great way to start. I was a bit surprised and saddened when that story ended. I wanted a bit more perhaps, but that's just me being a dick, after all this is a book of short stories. What did I expect.
The author, I think, saved the best story for last. A little piece about a guy who gets decapitated in a car crash, by a flying prosthetic limb, and who ends up having his head stitched onto a borg-esque killing machine. I wont tell you anymore apart from that he ends up, through a very odd set of circumstances, looking after an incredibly cute child named Monster. Cool shit basically. 

There's a few stories in there that, honestly, are a bit weak compared to the better ones; the woman who kills her whole town by turning their sexual energy against them -which sounds cool...Until she works out how to use her own power to clone herself and take over the world. Lost me at that point really. But don't let that put you off. The vast majority of the stories are really very good.

Like I said earlier, this is a fucking cool book. A literal smorgasbord of trailer park superheros, funny one liners and clever ideas. It cost me 77p; but had I known how good it was going to be I'd have paid the 7 dollars or whatever and got it in chopped down tree format.
If you want a fun, cheap, relatively easy read get yourself on Amazon this afternoon and buy that shit.

And whilst you are doing that follow me and the author JJ Anderson on twitter:

@MrLean
@TPJ13

Flaps.

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